the Life and Times of Miss Madison

 Long ago, I used to watch Kenneth Copeland on TBN with my mother and sister. I was the last of us females who had grown spiritually and moved into the Charismatic. I had lived a worldly life as a Christian and let my one and only friend influence me to the point that I listened to music that most Christians don't approve of and enjoyed watching movies or tv shows a Christian shouldn't watched. My mother saw this and prayed for me. She prayed for the whole family and decided we all needed to change. She asked to start with her. My mother had some very influential charismatic friends who introduced her to Christian leaders of faith; Kenneth Copeland, Marilyn Hickey and Charles Capp to name a few. She went to AGLOW Meetings and my sister soon went with her but I still remained worldly. God changed all that. It was after 1995 when I moved to Washington (at least I thought I did) that I was away from all that. I had no friends and my aunt whom I stayed with pretty much wanted her t...

 Over three years ago, just after the death of my mother, my sister and I found ourselves in need of a job. I couldn't work when we had to take care of our mother, but now I could. However, my circumstances threw me a curve ball: how could I become a teacher without my credentials? Years of wasted education all so I could escape my father's abuse. It wasn't a total waste because without it, I would have never become a substitute teacher. I finally passed the CBEST and with a little help from a friend, I got my permit. But subbing is not a regular job. Some days they call for a half day which means half pay and some days they don't call. Subbing isn't like a teacher with credential. A credentialed teacher has one class all year long, but the students respects them more than the sub does. How anyone can love subbing is beyond me. They must have patience and the ability to maintain a class. I don't. I used to enjoy it. There used to be favorable assignments, but in...

 Living in poverty sometimes means you have to rely on public transportation. It would have been nice to have a car and take it whenever you need to and where-ever you need to. Buses don't always stop near or close enough to your destination. For example, I sub  in another town at any of the three schools. The one that is a walk for me is Meadow Lane. The closet stop is either the Pioneer Square stop or the Pizza Hut stop, but it takes fifteen minutes to walk to the school. On those days, I get quite a bit of exercise. Sometimes I take the flex route to a bus stop if I schedule it in advance because it s just a couple of blocks away. What really drains me is the bus ride to and fro and I believe I have wrote about that in another blog Long before my mother passed away and while my father was alive, we have found that the bus driver would stop just a block from our alley. That was a blessing as my mother wasn't getting younger, and after my father passed away, it became more of...

 Imagine if you will walking to the bus stop then taking a  tedious bus ride to the next town. Many subs have cars and can arrive to work in less than 10 minutes (Unless they further away). It was a joy to come to work and follow the lesson plans the teachers laid out for me. It was the next best thing to teaching which is what I really wanted to do years ago. Yet the dream seemed further away as reality hit closer to home. After 3 years, I am burnt out. Always the bridesmaid, but never bride. After God closed the door for me to become a teacher's aide, I felt he wanted me to go one step higher. That meant school loans and I hated to borrow money yet I had faith I would get a job as a teacher after I graduate and pay them off. It never happened. After my last year, I was met wit disappointment. I failed my exit interview and didn't pass the writing of the teacher's test to get my credentials. I could not go into fifth year, I still had hope that I would teach but in another...

In all my life, I never thought I would become a substitute teacher. I didn't know I enrolled in a teaching class so I can gain disrespect from students, but it turned out that way. Sure. there were students who liked me as a sub, but when the teacher is away, surely the mice will play? Well, at least try to get away with it. I follow the lesson plan, and they question what I have for them. "Teacher always let us..." or  "She fives us fewer assignments..." and so forth. But I also had good days  when the students work quietly and not question the plan. Maybe familiarity bred contempt. "Oh, it's Miss Derby again." (Miss Derby is my legal last name as opposed to Miss Madison). Maybe they think they can get away with what they want because I lack power with them. Whatever the case may be, I'm coming to the end of myself. So why am I subbing? I had the education and the degree. All I needed was to finally pass the teacher's exam called CBEST(Ca...

  As a substitute teacher, I need God's grace in my life, but sometimes when He gives it, I don't see it working as I like. An instance would be if I accepted a job assignment ahead of time, thinking I would have a good night sleep and I would be ready for the day. I could never go online and cancel it if something comes up, but I could call in sick or something (which I rarely do.) On the morning of the assignment, I go ready to face a class of precocious students who would like to test me to my limits. This is when I need his grace. I want God to step in and silence the lions. However, it doesn't happen. The Bible says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. Weakness is inability or powerlessness. I felt I had no power when it comes to these students. They are like the demons that haunts me in my dreams. When God gives us the authority, it seems as there is no power with it and they render me speechless. Perhaps the demons represents little children who challenge m...

  When I was a young woman, I thought about my life. I needed to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I have lived in the city all my life (although not a big city like Los Angeles). I remember swinging on a swing at a school and it came to me that I liked children yet I didn't think teaching was in my dna. I'm not a leader. I'm a follower so I set my course to get the education I needed to become a teacher's assistant. However after I completed a 3 unit course called Child Care Aide, I learned I needed 12 ECE units. I had to go to a junior college and get my AA. One thing lead to another. To make it short, all doors to that position had closed and I had no other recourse, but to aim higher and that's when trouble began. I had returned home from trying to find a teaching aide job in Washington State. I stared out applying for admission at a couple of colleges (one a university and one a college), but problems surfaced. Fresno State University kept asking for my...

 As of September 4, I no longer have the right to use my domain. If I put it in search I would get a 403. Why is that? Because I messed with the records. I had transferred my domain over to NameCheap, and ever since that day, I could not use ruthiemadison.com. It started out with one simple goal: Start my first newsletter. I heard about MailChimp so I used that website. However, I had one issue and that is "how do I tell my subscribers to check their spam folders?" I couldn't find out how. I asked in a group and a member said I should try mailer lite or convert kit. The problem with these email platform places is they require private emails so I went to Namecheap purchase a private email, and that's when my nightmares happened. Who am I to change DNS records? I was warned, but I paid no attention and now its gone and weebly puts  a a light pink banner on my editor page saying I need to resolve an issue. What happened to my domain? I never should have listened to this ...

 God's word says that we are not to speak evil of dignitaries, so I will do my best tp speak neither good or bad about Governor Newsom. Instead I will speak the truth. I am not alone. Many of Californians are suffering from Governor Newsom's Draconian lockdown. As I said in another blog, he wanted the church to open last. It did, but he put conditions on it" No more than 100 people may attend church and not long after that, after he had released prisoners and accepted Mexicans patients into our hospitals, he locked down our churches. Schools remain closed for in person learning meaning I am still unemployed and many students will not receive the education they need? Why? Because parents has to work. Some students live with a single parents\ and he or she has to work. Small businesses aren't doing well. I wish people would wake up.  California did not elect a new governor, they elected a dictator. Once he heard that there is a petition to recall him, he strikes again. H...

 We all know the story of Adam and Eve. God told his new family to stay away from that one tree. He strictly warned them that if they didn't they could die. Up to that point, they had no problem doing what he wanted. They had a close relationship with God. I believe they saw him face to face or why had they hid themselves when they realized their nakedness. Or maybe just hearing his voice was good enough for them. Nevertheless, they had it all.  Have you been there? God blessed you with a good life. You had a great relationship with his Son. You have tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord. What more could you ask for? In most recent news, believers all over the world had been there, but somewhere along the line, they questioned their salvation. Some even walked away from God. They couldn't stand the pressure.Even after all God had done for them, it wasn't enough. God, are you really there?   I can't say I know the reason for this, but as one of my friends pointed o...

On social media, there are those who say that anyone not wearing a mask is selfish. I've seen a friend who shared a post from a page called Naked Jesus. (Hmm). I'm going to take that as a no no site as I wouldn't want to envision my savior as naked. (He almost was that way on the cross, but not completely.) I read through her post and noticed what they thought f those who say "I don't fear it so why should I?" to meaning I don't care about your health." Excuse me, but is in there anywhere in the Bible where people wore masks around people contagious disease? Most often these people were ostracized. They have be outside the city for a period of time. THEY NEVER IMPOSE ON THE HEALTHY TO PROTECT THEMSELVES WHILE THEY (those infected with the contagious disease) LIVE IN THE CITY. So shouldn't  those who are sick stay home? Why make the healthy stay home? My sister and I never traveled outside the U.S and we normally keep to ourselves, but of course, t...

Many people accept wearing a mask and social distancing the new normal. Not for me. We need to stop living in fear, stop taking precautions because we have never done that with the swine flu or any kind of flu. Many of my friends are forced to wear a mask to work if they want to keep their jobs and some of us have asthma or other breathing issues. There must be another way! Didn't Paul write that we should not conform to the patterns of this world? Do you see President Trump wearing a mask? And when will people open their eyes? They have allowed those in "position" to control their social movements. They tell me they are doing what it says in Romans 13, but my question is who told them they need to wear a mask? As far as I am concerned that is what the democrats wants. Have you noticed how slow the democratic governors  were to reopening their states and once they do it is with conditions? I live in California, and unfortunately, the governor is Nancy Pelosi's nephew....

With summer approaching, you would think the requirements to wear masks would slowly dwindle away. Not so. Just today, my sister entered a clinic and they gave her a mask to wear. I  understand that about medical facilities, but stores? There is so much fear in the world that it's sad. Even among Christians, they wear one. I understand if they are not healthy or that their employer requires them to wear it, but if you are healthy?  And what about other places? One place, I hope that it doesn't require are schools. I'm sorry, but I think wearing a mask is overdone. The virus can't survive in the heat. I don't see teachers standing in front of the classrooms wearing a mask. Do you know when you speak from a mask, you sound muffled? And teachers usually teach from a distance. Maybe not 6 feet, but at least with in a couple of feet. I don't fear the virus. Here are reasons why I won't wear a mask. You can disagree, if you want, but it won't change my mind: 1...

Never in all my life had I ever seen so much hate for our country and in our president, but what saddens me more is the view of some Christians who don't follow Q, but their own beliefs. Oh, I'm not saying that we shouldn't follow Jesus, but how many people are looking at what's going on and think Jesus is coming any minute when the time has not come for us to go? I posted on my Facebook wall about how God is in control. I posted a link about Illuminati and already people are acting its going to happen. Jesus is going to rapture and the NWO begins. Of course I know that. The Anti-Christ will usher that in and I bet he is one Illuminati's tools. I have my belief who I think he is, Some already figured it out and some thinks its Donald Trump. Wrong again.  But it's not for us to know. We should be going about our Father's business until Jesus comes. And whether or not, you believe we will experience the judgments or that they will implant a chip, we should not...

     As my life start to change so is my website. People rarely hire me to design a cover anymore and more focus on my author's life. I still sell premades I have on hand, but I won' turn up as many as I used to. So the question is how do I draw traffic to my website for readers? My views are little. I used to get many, but since I stopped designing premades, I stopped adding new covers.    I decided it was time for a revamp, but somehow I was not satisfied. I needed advice and suggestions. I got some from group members, but one person suggested I hire my editor. Wrong move. She wants what I don't have. I have spent too much money already and I need what I have for my books.  So if you want to keep updated, I will be using blogger. My author's blog is  The Writings of Miss Madison  If you want to check out some of my premades, you can check out my pinterest link  https://www.pinterest.com/rmadison1967/madison-designs-book-covers/   or yo...

I wish that people would understand what it is like in a social setting. Many think an introvert can change, but just like a leopard can't change his spots, neither can I change who or what I am. And people overlook it or even dismiss it. Introverts aren't anti-social, but they like their alone time and they feel lost in a crowd or awkward. I group of in a family of introverts. Both my parents were socially awkward. My father was a loner most of his life and he got lost in his own world. Having a family to care for wasn't easy.. He grew up during the time of depression and I learned that his own father considered him a dreamer. At my father's memorial, my aunt shared about a time when he would go off to be alone, to find himself. And my mother? She grew up without parents. My grandmother died as the stress caught up with her for taking care of grandpa had weaken her immunity and the flu that laid dormant in her body woke. So for all my mom's and uncle's life, th...

I have been attending a certain denomination for awhile. It was the church mom wanted to go to and we fulfilled her wish by calling on a friend who also went to take us, but those days are over with and my mother is no longer with us. We had soon discovered that the blessings flowed when she was with us. It's been seven years, but in the last year and a half the blessings stopped. The church got a new pastor and things changed, The last thing anyone have done for us with to give us a bicycle but that was because someone thought we should have one and we gave her our permission. I have nothing against the staff of the church. Just the congregation. Very few of them have helped my sister and I out when we were in need. Our transportation to church had changed. Instead 4-5 people a month, it dwindled to one. No longer could we go to anything outside we wanted to, risk getting flats or having an accident. But when this denomination started thinking outside the box(The box being the ...

 Have you ever made a decision based on what someone else was going to do? Back in the mid 90's all doors was closed for me to become a teacher's assistance. The rules have changed and applicants had to pass a screening test. Yours truly failed. I didn't even know I took one, but I got the noticed I failed it. I could not even become a teacher's aid in the state of   California . I sought God about this and tried to find work in another state while staying with my aunt, but no one wanted to hire me even there and my aunt grew tired of me and sent me home. So what was I to do? I couldn't find work as a nanny because I didn't have a car (although my former employer didn't have it as a requirement for me). One day I sought the Lord. I asked him what he wanted me to do and and I felt in my enroll in a four years college and get my B.A Degree in liberal Studies. I already had an A.A degree and I had transferable units, but the college I wanted to go to had prob...

Over 8 years ago, my father passed away. It was a sweet release. but there was some aspect of him that we missed. The three of us had to adjust and call upon people who could help us. We haven't gone to Glad Tidings Church yet but after we did,  some of the staff and members of church helped us for awhile. My sister and I still had a mother and some security. We still believe  our dreams could come true. My sister and I were foolish, even our mother. We didn't convince her to have a life insurance plan because we all believed we would live until Jesus comes. We didn't even seek a POA for our mother because our minds were still wrapped in our father's death. Soon after he died, we noticed a change in mom. It wasn't too significant and we thought it was normal. Mom had been forgetting. We sent her to the store and she comes back with the wrong item and or she forgot something. Later, we noticed that cookies were missing. My sister and  I don't eat them much so we ...

Why can't people see where I am coming from? It is because they have never been in our shoes. It is hard to have another perspective. Mom has been there for us while my father was alive. She has always been on our side. So why can't I give back? It is because unlike many, I never had wings to fly. Growing up, my father didn't raise us the way he should? While my classmates  got cars, we still had bicycles. It wasn't that se were poor. My father had a good job. It was the consequences of his decision that made us poor. He quit his job and started working for the IRS. This job didn't last long and soon ended up being a  fuller brush man. Many people never saw the side of him that we saw. My own relatives wouldn't believe me. He didn't physically abuse us. he  just decided that after we graduated from high school. we were on our own.  We still had no car. My sister tried to get her license. My father was a terrible teacher and scared her both to stop trying...