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Showing posts from May, 2021

The Burnt Out Sub

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 Imagine if you will walking to the bus stop then taking a  tedious bus ride to the next town. Many subs have cars and can arrive to work in less than 10 minutes (Unless they further away). It was a joy to come to work and follow the lesson plans the teachers laid out for me. It was the next best thing to teaching which is what I really wanted to do years ago. Yet the dream seemed further away as reality hit closer to home. After 3 years, I am burnt out. Always the bridesmaid, but never bride. After God closed the door for me to become a teacher's aide, I felt he wanted me to go one step higher. That meant school loans and I hated to borrow money yet I had faith I would get a job as a teacher after I graduate and pay them off. It never happened. After my last year, I was met wit disappointment. I failed my exit interview and didn't pass the writing of the teacher's test to get my credentials. I could not go into fifth year, I still had hope that I would teach but in another

My Life as a Substitute Teacher.

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In all my life, I never thought I would become a substitute teacher. I didn't know I enrolled in a teaching class so I can gain disrespect from students, but it turned out that way. Sure. there were students who liked me as a sub, but when the teacher is away, surely the mice will play? Well, at least try to get away with it. I follow the lesson plan, and they question what I have for them. "Teacher always let us..." or  "She fives us fewer assignments..." and so forth. But I also had good days  when the students work quietly and not question the plan. Maybe familiarity bred contempt. "Oh, it's Miss Derby again." (Miss Derby is my legal last name as opposed to Miss Madison). Maybe they think they can get away with what they want because I lack power with them. Whatever the case may be, I'm coming to the end of myself. So why am I subbing? I had the education and the degree. All I needed was to finally pass the teacher's exam called CBEST(Ca

God's Grace in Time of Need.

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  As a substitute teacher, I need God's grace in my life, but sometimes when He gives it, I don't see it working as I like. An instance would be if I accepted a job assignment ahead of time, thinking I would have a good night sleep and I would be ready for the day. I could never go online and cancel it if something comes up, but I could call in sick or something (which I rarely do.) On the morning of the assignment, I go ready to face a class of precocious students who would like to test me to my limits. This is when I need his grace. I want God to step in and silence the lions. However, it doesn't happen. The Bible says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. Weakness is inability or powerlessness. I felt I had no power when it comes to these students. They are like the demons that haunts me in my dreams. When God gives us the authority, it seems as there is no power with it and they render me speechless. Perhaps the demons represents little children who challenge m