Death in the Family
Over 8 years ago, my father passed away. It was a sweet release. but there was some aspect of him that we missed. The three of us had to adjust and call upon people who could help us. We haven't gone to Glad Tidings Church yet but after we did, some of the staff and members of church helped us for awhile. My sister and I still had a mother and some security. We still believe our dreams could come true. My sister and I were foolish, even our mother. We didn't convince her to have a life insurance plan because we all believed we would live until Jesus comes. We didn't even seek a POA for our mother because our minds were still wrapped in our father's death. Soon after he died, we noticed a change in mom. It wasn't too significant and we thought it was normal. Mom had been forgetting. We sent her to the store and she comes back with the wrong item and or she forgot something. Later, we noticed that cookies were missing. My sister and I don't eat them much so we knew it wasn't us yet when we ask mom, she would deny it. But it wasn't denial as we found out. With the suggestion or advice of some friends, we made an appointment to have mom checked. Sure enough, the doctor confirmed what my sister and I suspected. Mom had dementia.
Dementia is a hard diagnose to accept. Many people receive healing for most other diseases and they know they need it, but dementia affects the mind. If you told them that is what they have they will deny it or forget you told them. They deny it because they think nothing is wrong with them.
We watch the disease take part in mom's life, but we didn't want to accept the diagnosis. We did what we could, but to no avail. We tried to seek help from the outside, but the help the state or county offered us wasn't much. We could not take care of mom by ourselves.
On December 12, or maybe before that, mom changed for the worst. Her speech wasn't making sense and we noticed her labored breathing so we took her to the ER. Well we had a ride there when one of my sister's friends saw her post and she told our church's office manager who had taken mom and sister to ER. On that very day, I never thought we would go home without mom. The doctor told us that she had Heart Arrhythmia and severe dementia. Before she lost her speech, I remember her crying out telling the nurses to leave her alone in the name of Jesus. Most people curse but she uses his name.
My heart breaks when I think of that day. It breaks when I watch her suffer, but I knew we made the right decision. It would be only a matter of time before she goes home to be with Jesus, but before Christmas?
We wanted to put mom in Hacienda and it took a while for the doctor and insurancce ompany to sign the papers and send it to them. We had peace after signing the papers she would spend the rest of her life there, but two days later, a friend of my sister's came over and told us they couldn't move her and she was dying. Our life was interrupted again and pressured built up around us. We visited her as often as we could and cried over her. We didn't want to let her go. I was going to fight for her life and I had my chance.
However, a friend of ours drove me so I can see mom. I thought I was doing the Lord's will, but as I was about to speak life to her, the friend told me not to and I need to let her go. I couldn't. How could I let her die like that? After I have calmed down, I realized she was right. When we came in, mom was facing east. It was as if she knew mom wanted to go home and this hurts. I cried to God. Why now? Why before Christmas? I finally understood why Christmas was a hard time for many others. I was in there place. After we both let her go, we stayed awhile until we both knew it was time to leave. At about 3:30 pm on December 21, 2017 was the last time we saw her before she went to heaven. It was like that was what mom was waiting for and my heart broke in many pieces.
We are having a hard time adjusting. The house could be taken away from us we have no jobs. Our lives are very dependent on God. We both have a future. We still have dreams to fulfill but obstacles are around us.
Please when I say it is Satan, don't tell me to shut up about it. He is the author of all diseases, God is not. God is merciful and kind and we don't know if he would take her home if she was healthy. God could call anyone home at ant given time without having any disease in their body.
Please also don't be like Job;s friends for you don't know what we have gone through while our father was alive
Dementia is a hard diagnose to accept. Many people receive healing for most other diseases and they know they need it, but dementia affects the mind. If you told them that is what they have they will deny it or forget you told them. They deny it because they think nothing is wrong with them.
We watch the disease take part in mom's life, but we didn't want to accept the diagnosis. We did what we could, but to no avail. We tried to seek help from the outside, but the help the state or county offered us wasn't much. We could not take care of mom by ourselves.
On December 12, or maybe before that, mom changed for the worst. Her speech wasn't making sense and we noticed her labored breathing so we took her to the ER. Well we had a ride there when one of my sister's friends saw her post and she told our church's office manager who had taken mom and sister to ER. On that very day, I never thought we would go home without mom. The doctor told us that she had Heart Arrhythmia and severe dementia. Before she lost her speech, I remember her crying out telling the nurses to leave her alone in the name of Jesus. Most people curse but she uses his name.
My heart breaks when I think of that day. It breaks when I watch her suffer, but I knew we made the right decision. It would be only a matter of time before she goes home to be with Jesus, but before Christmas?
We wanted to put mom in Hacienda and it took a while for the doctor and insurancce ompany to sign the papers and send it to them. We had peace after signing the papers she would spend the rest of her life there, but two days later, a friend of my sister's came over and told us they couldn't move her and she was dying. Our life was interrupted again and pressured built up around us. We visited her as often as we could and cried over her. We didn't want to let her go. I was going to fight for her life and I had my chance.
However, a friend of ours drove me so I can see mom. I thought I was doing the Lord's will, but as I was about to speak life to her, the friend told me not to and I need to let her go. I couldn't. How could I let her die like that? After I have calmed down, I realized she was right. When we came in, mom was facing east. It was as if she knew mom wanted to go home and this hurts. I cried to God. Why now? Why before Christmas? I finally understood why Christmas was a hard time for many others. I was in there place. After we both let her go, we stayed awhile until we both knew it was time to leave. At about 3:30 pm on December 21, 2017 was the last time we saw her before she went to heaven. It was like that was what mom was waiting for and my heart broke in many pieces.
We are having a hard time adjusting. The house could be taken away from us we have no jobs. Our lives are very dependent on God. We both have a future. We still have dreams to fulfill but obstacles are around us.
Please when I say it is Satan, don't tell me to shut up about it. He is the author of all diseases, God is not. God is merciful and kind and we don't know if he would take her home if she was healthy. God could call anyone home at ant given time without having any disease in their body.
Please also don't be like Job;s friends for you don't know what we have gone through while our father was alive
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| R.I.P, mom (Phoebe Derby) July 22, 1926-December 21,2017 |
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