Living with Dementia II
Why can't people see where I am coming from? It is because they have never been in our shoes. It is hard to have another perspective. Mom has been there for us while my father was alive. She has always been on our side. So why can't I give back? It is because unlike many, I never had wings to fly.
Growing up, my father didn't raise us the way he should? While my classmates got cars, we still had bicycles. It wasn't that se were poor. My father had a good job. It was the consequences of his decision that made us poor. He quit his job and started working for the IRS. This job didn't last long and soon ended up being a fuller brush man.
Many people never saw the side of him that we saw. My own relatives wouldn't believe me. He didn't physically abuse us. he just decided that after we graduated from high school. we were on our own. We still had no car. My sister tried to get her license. My father was a terrible teacher and scared her both to stop trying for it. As for me, I gave him the note and told him needed money to pay for the permit which I never got so later in life I asked friends to teach me. However, they didn't last.
Both had no wings.
Those who only saw one side of him, wouldn't think he was greedy selfish and stingy, but he was. He thought of himself. He only gave us $80 a week to spend for grocery and because he was sold out on fuller brush products, we had to buy our own cleaning products--we weren't sold out.
My mother needed us. He neglected to care for his wife's needs. He didn't leave her. He didn't provide her in ways that she needed him to, esp spiritually, He was a worldly man. He attended a carnal church. He loved money more than God.
My father died in 2009. We all expected to finally leave the house and have God fulfill his plans for our lives. My mom wanted to move to Santa Barbara, my sister to go with her and me to Washington State. it never happened. I wondered what happened to all our dreams and desires. Shortly after my father passed away, my mother's memory memory started decline but we thought nothing of it until later in life when we noticed some fo the symptoms of dementia. Suddenly we found ourselves unwilling caregivers. No one else could take care of her. It seemed our dreams and desires were delayed.
Many people say care giving is rewarding. They say you are giving back and while that may be true and our mother gave of herself to us, did we ever forget the lessons she taught us? Did we not grow out of our childlike behavior? Did she have to repeat things to us over and over? You see, I see a difference. It is rewarding for a parent to see their children grow, but it is not rewarding when there is no growth in your parents.
If you never had a chance to leave your house and you have dreams and desires not yet fulfilled and say you don't have your own transportation because of your father, thentell em how rewarding it is because it is NOT!
Growing up, my father didn't raise us the way he should? While my classmates got cars, we still had bicycles. It wasn't that se were poor. My father had a good job. It was the consequences of his decision that made us poor. He quit his job and started working for the IRS. This job didn't last long and soon ended up being a fuller brush man.
Many people never saw the side of him that we saw. My own relatives wouldn't believe me. He didn't physically abuse us. he just decided that after we graduated from high school. we were on our own. We still had no car. My sister tried to get her license. My father was a terrible teacher and scared her both to stop trying for it. As for me, I gave him the note and told him needed money to pay for the permit which I never got so later in life I asked friends to teach me. However, they didn't last.
Both had no wings.
Those who only saw one side of him, wouldn't think he was greedy selfish and stingy, but he was. He thought of himself. He only gave us $80 a week to spend for grocery and because he was sold out on fuller brush products, we had to buy our own cleaning products--we weren't sold out.
My mother needed us. He neglected to care for his wife's needs. He didn't leave her. He didn't provide her in ways that she needed him to, esp spiritually, He was a worldly man. He attended a carnal church. He loved money more than God.
My father died in 2009. We all expected to finally leave the house and have God fulfill his plans for our lives. My mom wanted to move to Santa Barbara, my sister to go with her and me to Washington State. it never happened. I wondered what happened to all our dreams and desires. Shortly after my father passed away, my mother's memory memory started decline but we thought nothing of it until later in life when we noticed some fo the symptoms of dementia. Suddenly we found ourselves unwilling caregivers. No one else could take care of her. It seemed our dreams and desires were delayed.
Many people say care giving is rewarding. They say you are giving back and while that may be true and our mother gave of herself to us, did we ever forget the lessons she taught us? Did we not grow out of our childlike behavior? Did she have to repeat things to us over and over? You see, I see a difference. It is rewarding for a parent to see their children grow, but it is not rewarding when there is no growth in your parents.
If you never had a chance to leave your house and you have dreams and desires not yet fulfilled and say you don't have your own transportation because of your father, thentell em how rewarding it is because it is NOT!
Comments
Post a Comment