When My Emergency Permit Expires

 Over three years ago, just after the death of my mother, my sister and I found ourselves in need of a job. I couldn't work when we had to take care of our mother, but now I could. However, my circumstances threw me a curve ball: how could I become a teacher without my credentials? Years of wasted education all so I could escape my father's abuse. It wasn't a total waste because without it, I would have never become a substitute teacher. I finally passed the CBEST and with a little help from a friend, I got my permit. But subbing is not a regular job. Some days they call for a half day which means half pay and some days they don't call. Subbing isn't like a teacher with credential. A credentialed teacher has one class all year long, but the students respects them more than the sub does. How anyone can love subbing is beyond me. They must have patience and the ability to maintain a class. I don't. I used to enjoy it. There used to be favorable assignments, but in the last year, there were none. It became stressful for me. Many of my friends who sub have husbands who works. I am the only who is unmarried and bring home some kind of pay. It should never be that way, but that God allowed it. 

In the last year, my stress decreased when I learn to trust God for provision instead of my paycheck, and I no longer feel passionate about subbing. I no longer desire to become a teacher. I am in my fifties and most teachers starts younger than that. When I realized that, my desire to sub became less and less. So what is a person to do? What else can she do besides subbing?

At the end of November, my permit will expire and unless God provides or blesses me with enough finances to pay the permit fee (outside of my income), I am transitioning to caregiving. I think dealing with a senior is less stressful than a handful of class who won't listen to you when you tell them to quiet down. I had students who purposefully get out of their seats and not do their work. An one on one is much better. So hopefully IHSS (In home supportive services) or Visiting Angels (which offers senior care) will place me in a home of am elderly person. After all, I help take care of my mother for eight years. And I can do this while I wait for God to move me.