Born to be a Rancher's Wife

 

When I was a young woman, I thought about my life. I needed to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I have lived in the city all my life (although not a big city like Los Angeles). I remember swinging on a swing at a school and it came to me that I liked children yet I didn't think teaching was in my dna. I'm not a leader. I'm a follower so I set my course to get the education I needed to become a teacher's assistant. However after I completed a 3 unit course called Child Care Aide, I learned I needed 12 ECE units. I had to go to a junior college and get my AA. One thing lead to another. To make it short, all doors to that position had closed and I had no other recourse, but to aim higher and that's when trouble began.

I had returned home from trying to find a teaching aide job in Washington State. I stared out applying for admission at a couple of colleges (one a university and one a college), but problems surfaced. Fresno State University kept asking for my transcript which my high school had sent and the other college admitted, even accommodating me as I was already past twenty-one.  With the door opened for me to attend Fresno Pacific University, and my father about to force me to work in kings rehab, I went ahead with my plans to attend FPU. It seemed as God okayed it, but it wasn't a smooth road. I borrowed over $45,000 and I could not pay it back. Finding a job wasn't easy. No one wanted to hire me due to my education and background. Not only that, but I didn't pass the exit exam and the California Basic Educational Skills Test so I can enter teacher's education. I was stuck! Yet I persisted.

I wasted many years fantasying because of my father. I had high hopes that God would provide a way for me to get back to Washington. I suffered abuse under the hand of my father and after he died, I had to take care of my mother who had come down with dementia. Yep eight years of unemployment for me and eight more years after I graduated from FPU. While my peers are already teaching or doing something in education, or even getting married, I am giving care to my mother. I never really left home.

It was during this time, my dreams and desires began to change. I know people should read fiction as fiction, but after reading a couple of cowboy romance, my heart longed for that kind of life! It appealed to me and I could hear it call my name. I realize living on a ranch was more up my alley then becoming a high quality Christian school teacher. When I tried to gain experience in the classroom as a substitute teacher, my experience got interrupted twice! First time, because the local schools complained about me and the second because of the pandemic. I know  employers would understand, but if they look at my application, they would see a huge work gap between when I graduated from FPU and when I started working as a sub. Schools had changed and I really needed experiences in Christian schools which I never got.

The dreams and desires I had many years ago, should only stay for Washington. I no longer had a desire to live in Washington. Montana called my name that I even wrote a series based in Montana. I would even read romances based in Montana. I know they have ranches in other states, but the more I read about Montana and write my series, the more it calls my name.

So why am I not there yet? The door had not opened.