the Life and Times of Miss Madison

Growing up, it seems that I never stay long at any church. The first church I remember going to was a Baptist church and I have always liked First Baptist Church as a child. However, for some reasons, my father decided to leave that church after a couple of years and take us to a church my  mother wanted to go-- Glad Tidings which  is an Assembly Of God church.  Once again, we didn't stay long because my father long to go to a church affiliated with or that his mother once went to when she lived in Hanford-- First Christian Church. It was the only church any of us continued going to until he got sick. The rest of us left after several years of attending the church and that was because my father gave us permission to leave his church (which he regretted it)..  The three of us continued going from one church to another and for whatever reason we left each. As for me, I stopped attending with my mother  and sister due to my rebellion and I longed to return to First Baptist Church.  

I have often said I don't have a man in my life to love, but I have a cat I love even though his love for me is more based on conditions than anything else. Yet for now he is the only male in my life. I have another love too and I wrote about that. This love is different and  it is an example of the kind of love I don't  want in a man. I have been told that cats are independent and they are too some point. However, if they depend on their humans to feed them. And like all humans, they need love. Those are the two things they will ask from their humans and not return the favor. It is "You are required to provide these things for me because you are responsible for me."  Is not that about the same as children? They need love and attention from their parents, but they also give it back? The children do not say to their parents, "I don't need to give you love. You brought me into this world, so you are responsible for me."    I hope that my future husband

I began a new tradition that I have  found myself asking: "Why?'  The tradition is dressing up before I go anywhere. I would put on cosmetics to give my cheeks and face some color.  My first reason is that I am an author and I should look nice when I go out, but I still ask why. Who  knows that I am an author?  In November I had my first book signing and not one person I know came!  It was depressing! Only my family was there for support. Although I got my interview, not many still knew  about me. I am still an unknown author in the city of Hanford.   The second reason is my hope of attracting the opposite sex.  I even ask myself  why bother? I have yet seen  a man I am attracted to. My ideal man has to sweep me off my feet and wow me!  I read about him in a book called She Belongs To Me by Carmen DeSousa. Although he is a bit controlling it is in  a  good way and then I read more and find out there is a problem in the marriage.   I know   it is only a work of fiction and I