the Life and Times of Miss Madison

As I am staying yo to usher the new year, I reflect back on this past year. It is hard to believe that in a years time I had published three books--although one is a rewrite--actually two were. I remember earlier this year how I wanted out of the contract with my publisher. My book was filled with formatting issues and grammar errors and no one left me a good review. However, my sister came upon a windfall called educational refund and she paid for me to get rights back. Marge was my book but I renamed it and rewrote it. I also paid to have an editor to help with the manuscript. Several months later A Second Chance at Love was published. I couldn't be happier, but the happiness didn't last. Hardly anyone bought my book and gave me good reviews. As of this day it still stands with only two. What is worst some of my author friends  criticized my book saying there are too many point of views and there were questions about this and that. Sigh. Another one of my book has been revamp...

My heart continues to have an outpouring of gratitude every day.  Every day,  I am seeing that my dreams are slowly coming to pass. Never in all my life, have I seen God's goodness to me until this year. Although in the past, He has been good, I just have failed to see it. Over a year ago, Kenneth Copeland received from the Lord the prophecy about this year. He said that 2013 is the year of Great Grace. Normally, I would believe and receive it but it never came to pass for me. Now at this point, some of you may shake your head and stopped reading. You will be thinking, "That is because he is a false teacher." Don't stop reading. God has worked in my life more so this year that I can see, but in ways I have never expected. For many years, I have asked God to please do something about this bulge in my body. Due to my ignorance, I thought it was just muscles so I asked him to remove it. Meanwhile, I have suffered several medical problems not knowing it was related to...

Last night, I went to church and listened to a sermon that my pastor preached on about storms. I can relate to the sermon because the storms in my life comes from "friendly" authors who thinks they can help me write (or should I say..."rewrite"?) my book. I never said I was perfect, but I also never expected to have people tell me, "Your story would be better if.." So I listen to their advice and suggestions as my heart break.  My pastor preached that storms comes unexpectedly and that no one ever hopes or wants a storm to come. Often time, we don't know how to deal with storms. The disciples figured all they could do is empty the boat of the water. Jesus was asleep.   How dare he sleep! Doesn't he know we are going to drown if he doesn't do something?  I am sure the disciples thought that, but what they didn't expect was how Jesus would answer the storm. They thought he would bail out some water too. to join in with them. Ofte...

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            Living life with no mode of transportation makes life hard when we want to go somewhere. Bus fare is a dollar one way and because of the many stops, it will take a while to get to get where you need to, even harder is when that bus runs every hour. There used to be a time when they all ran every half hour and we had seven buses! But our economy had changed for the worst and the county couldn’t afford to have six buses run every half hour. Perhaps, if the buses could revert back to the old way, it wouldn’t be a big deal.           It is a big deal. No one in my family has a license to drive a car. My mother, because of age, has given up driving long time ago and my sister and I had instructors who were either harsh or just plain give up on us—we never made it as far as taking the driving test. As a result, we have become dependent on taking the bus or asking for rides. ...

I don't see myself as a nobody. I know who I am in the eyes of God. I am somebody special, I am an author. You didn't know that? Well, no wonder! Because businesses won't let you know about me!  I tried to let the people of Hanford know they have an author in town. I had my first book signing in a library a couple years ago. Perhaps you didn't  read the paper that week. You know what? That is okay. I got what I wanted even though after the local paper featured me in the paper, no one asked me about it. Let's go back many years ago when I was in high school. Was I popular? No. Was I accepted? Maybe. Maybe not. I got teased a lot. I didn't have many friends. Thanks God, my self esteem wasn't based on what my peers thought about me. I knew I didn't fit in according to their standards. I am an adult now. I thought maybe things have changed. Many of the people who weren't my friends in High School are now. It isn't my peers that is making me feel ...

Hello fellow bloggers, Houston, it seems we have a problem. I decided to visit my googleplus page so I clicked my name with the plus symbol and it gave me my page for a brief second. However, soon after the page refreshed on its own, it was gone. This is not good because as an author I need to share things with those in my circle. Not only is my page gone but so is my profile. What has happen to my Google+ account? Did Facebook conspire with the Google people and  ask them to delete my account?  A friend of mine said, hers was still there. If you are going to say, "Clear cache, restart your computer," I already did. Still he same. I can't send feedback because how can I when my page is gone? Yours truly, Ruthie Madison

I have written about my pre-hysterectomy experiences and how I found out I had developed a non cancerous tumor that gave me several problems with my health. If I had known this 15 years ago, I could have applied for SSI. Truth be told, I didn't have internet to find out that Iron Deficiency Anemia could qualify me for the benefits until 15 years later. So what do I do?  I did what I could and  now after 3 months of seeing I qualified, it isn't because I had anemia, but because I didn't work many years on a job. True, but the jobs I had was brief not of my doing--some were temporary and not meant to last a long time. I had three jobs, but one of them I chose to just receive cash. In that year, I wasn't thinking of my future. I wasn't yet 30 (the age where the Tumor is present in a woman's body) I didn't have internet then either.  It is hard to explain why I didn't work those 15 years--most of the years, I had suffered with restless legs and kept me fro...

 Back in early July, I registered to be a member of Hystersisters.com. It is a support group for women who had or will have a Hysterectomy. The website is filled with all kinds of information for members and even for those who are researching. I would recommend this website for any women going through the surgery or will. I registered because I knew I would have the surgery soon and I needed support. I read posts in forums and hope to get answers for my problems, but what I found helpful was not only the recovery progress thread, but the checkpoints--I needed to know what I would experience during recovery. However, I have found that I was semi-alone. I never experienced a swollen belly as others have. Although I have experienced bladder spasms, fatigue and backaches, I couldn't relate to anyone for each checkpoint. When I had some spotting, it wasn't as bad as others. (Although I had a mini period about the fifth week of my recovery). I found that I was blessed. And why is...

I normally write about life as an author and the ups and down of it, but seeing that other people have written their medical experiences why not me?  On May 9, 2013, my doctor gave me the results to the ultrasound. I have a fibroid tumor in my uterus. To me this was bad news and good news. The bad news is I will have to have surgery. The good news is I won't  be sticking out anymore. (My doctor told me I looked to be 7 months pregnant and later that the tumor was a size of a basketball) My surgery was scheduled to be on July 10. I was told that I would have to have a hysterectomy because of the size of the tumor. Hysterectomy was something I did not want, but the Lord gave me hope that I can still have children. He can recreate a new uterus in me. After going through pre-op and have my lab work done, it was time to leave for hospital. I wasn't nervous because I trusted God.  As I waited in the surgical waiting room, I saw a picture that I have seen a few times on Fa...

M y life is void of all purpose and meaning. I sit at my desk, wondering if the next story I write will sell. I have come to realize that people do not want me to write because they try to discourage me with their meaningless words. Or perhaps they do care but think if I do not write like they do, why bother? Meaningless friends they are. Job had friends like that. He had one calamity after another with no chance to catch his breath. He cursed the day he was born and wish for death . He did not realize it was because of his fear that it had to come to pass. His three friends also offered meaningless help and advice just as mine does. “Ruthie, your story lacks description. It won't sell.” “What? Not again ?” I cry. And why is it that readers rather I show them Paris then tell them about Paris? Must I bring Paris t o them? Why not use their imagination ? Are all readers lazy and have none? I am not lazy. I just have no energy. For 15 ye...

As I was wanting to find out the cause of insomnia, I searched the web. I googled "Is insomnia a symptom of Anemia" and I found an article from  Livestrong.com .  The article is called, "The Lack of Iron and Insomnia" It is an interesting read.  It says that although there is no direct cause for it, RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) is  connected to it.  It makes sense because since 2000, I have suffered from RLS. I believe.   Livestrong is not the only website that will tell you Iron deficiency is one of the causes of Restless Leg Syndrome.  If you go to   Restless leg syndrome: Causes - MayoClinic.com ,  you will find the info there too. I posted a link in my support group because Iron Deficiency Anemia is a symptom of the Fibroid Tumor. It is interesting what people will say is the reason for my legs being restless. They haven't lived in my body for 15 years with a tumor growing in their Uterus. Of all the heavy menstrual  bleedin...

Ever since I found out the reason for everything I have suffered physically, I have been keeping a journal. You see I was diagnosed with a  fibroid tumor last month and one symptom that I suffer from is Anemia. So I will share with you what I wrote for my prayer group. Being Tired Having Anemia is the pits. That is how mildly I can put it.  It is also a struggle. However, it is not what else makes me tired and I think it is a symptom of Anemia: Insomnia. I have suffered with Insomnia for a long time, but I thought it was due to stress. After all, my father caused stress in the family, especially during his illness before his death. At that time, I was still thinking I would like to have the bulge removed. I haven’t found out I have a tumor in my uterus.  I can remember those nightmarish nights when I just couldn’t get to sleep yet I was too tired to do anything! Recently. I did research on Anemia. I found out that it is a disability because it hindered peop...

There is a saying that goes like this: The best thing comes to those who wait."  I guess then the best things are coming to me  yet it is hard...to wait when especially  when I have waited my whole life. God has a way of teaching us to wait. For over 17 years I have waited and still am waiting for God to fulfill his promise to me that I would return to Washington State.  For 15 years I have waited for this bulge which I have found out is nothing but a fibroid tumor that has grown so big I look six months pregnant,  to be gone! I also wait for other things too like for people to finish proofreading my manuscript so I can get it published. Do you know how hard and frustrating  that is when  your author friends announce they just got a book published?  Or how about when you finally get an answer to prayer only to find out that there is waiting involved? I had hope that I would see the surgeon this week so I know when  I ...

Most every woman longs for and desires it and it is love.  Even from birth, a baby needs it to survive (besides food, shelter,  etc ). I have never met anyone that didn't need love in their life, but not everyone gets it. I know from my own personal life, I have never experienced the love of my earthly father. My aunt tells me he did love me but in his own way.  "In his own way"?  Shouldn't a Christian parent love their children as God loves us?  I ...   never  ...   experienced ... It.  Really!  Yes, I am sure other children have felt the same too; these children were abused and or neglected by their fathers, even abandoned by them.  They get put in foster care because their own parents don't want them (that is how they feel). I tell you the truth that my father loved money more than me, but it wasn't his fault.  He was incapable of loving his children.  I also never receive affirmation from him either. ...

My faith is strong but lately it has been put through the wringer of sorts. Ever since I was a teenager, I had dreams like most female teens do: I dream of having a boyfriend by the time I am 17... Never happened. I dreamt  I would marry by the time I was 25-- also never happened.   I still had hopes and I still had faith that it was never too late. Even when I turned 40, I still believe that I could have my own family based on what I read in the Bible about women who had babies past childbearing age. You see, God is not limited and in His Word, it is written that God is the same yesterday, today and forever--He never changes so if Sarah, Rebekkah and Elizabeth had babies past 40 why not me? At 45, I am facing the possibility of never having children of my own. I wish I had married at 25 because  by the time I have my physical at 30 and my doctor says, "You have a fibroid tumor", it will not be too late to  just remove the tumor. I could still have children. That ...

Growing up, it seems that I never stay long at any church. The first church I remember going to was a Baptist church and I have always liked First Baptist Church as a child. However, for some reasons, my father decided to leave that church after a couple of years and take us to a church my  mother wanted to go-- Glad Tidings which  is an Assembly Of God church.  Once again, we didn't stay long because my father long to go to a church affiliated with or that his mother once went to when she lived in Hanford-- First Christian Church. It was the only church any of us continued going to until he got sick. The rest of us left after several years of attending the church and that was because my father gave us permission to leave his church (which he regretted it)..  The three of us continued going from one church to another and for whatever reason we left each. As for me, I stopped attending with my mother  and sister due to my rebellion and ...