Being Tired and Writing

Ever since I found out the reason for everything I have suffered physically, I have been keeping a journal. You see I was diagnosed with a  fibroid tumor last month and one symptom that I suffer from is Anemia.
So I will share with you what I wrote for my prayer group.

Being Tired

Having Anemia is the pits. That is how mildly I can put it.  It is also a struggle. However, it is not what else makes me tired and I think it is a symptom of Anemia: Insomnia.

I have suffered with Insomnia for a long time, but I thought it was due to stress. After all, my father caused stress in the family, especially during his illness before his death. At that time, I was still thinking I would like to have the bulge removed. I haven’t found out I have a tumor in my uterus.  I can remember those nightmarish nights when I just couldn’t get to sleep yet I was too tired to do anything!

Recently. I did research on Anemia. I found out that it is a disability because it hindered people from working—they are either too tired and or lack energy, which is true of me.  Even when I finally get a decent night sleep, I am tired. There are days when I just want to sleep. I had no energy whatsoever and it was a fight to do anything, even writing. I also found out that Insomnia is a symptom of Anemia! Now it all makes sense. 

On top of those two, I suffer with another disorder non related to Anemia—Restless Legs Syndrome. Well, will it ever end? I had RLS ever since I graduated from college! I still suffer with it but sometimes it is a spiritual attack.

I have fought for my sleep tenaciously but sometimes it is out of my control.  I feel like no one understands where I am coming from and they expect too much from me. I have been taking my iron pills faithfully, even adding Vitamin C to my diet. I stay away from iron blockers.

I know I am getting better. Someday I have my good days and some days I have my bad days. On those days, I just feel like throwing in the towel and give up writing. Looking at words I have written and have to go over them is tedious.  I can’t afford to have someone edit my work and I may just take a hiatus until my red blood cells is back to normal. However, writing is my outlet to express myself and since no one sees what I write unless it is published, I can go back to write for pleasure.