Shattered Dreams

           Living life with no mode of transportation makes life hard when we want to go somewhere. Bus fare is a dollar one way and because of the many stops, it will take a while to get to get where you need to, even harder is when that bus runs every hour. There used to be a time when they all ran every half hour and we had seven buses! But our economy had changed for the worst and the county couldn’t afford to have six buses run every half hour. Perhaps, if the buses could revert back to the old way, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

          It is a big deal. No one in my family has a license to drive a car. My mother, because of age, has given up driving long time ago and my sister and I had instructors who were either harsh or just plain give up on us—we never made it as far as taking the driving test. As a result, we have become dependent on taking the bus or asking for rides.

          Over a year ago, my mother’s desire has been fulfilled: A neighbor agreed to take us to church with her. Since a year ago in August, we were blessed to attend a great church, and as time went on, people were realizing that we weren’t just attending a couple of services. However, it all went downhill in a way, but we did the best we could. Our neighbor and ride provider had told us that from February to August, she takes part in a Christian rodeo that happens once a month. That meant that that once a month, no church.

          We did a lot of praying, and one day, I felt in my heart to act in faith, therefore I dressed for church hoping we would go that day. Although it didn’t happen that day, it set things in motion—one of my sister’s Facebook friend, and mother of a former HS classmate, had noticed we haven’t been in a church. She contacted my sister and asked what happened. When she told her, this lady not only said she would take us when our neighbor couldn’t, BUT that if wanted to go to Sunday night services and Wednesday night electives.

          Over the months, I have grown fond of our associate pastor. One reason was that he had visited me in the hospital before my surgery and a few days while I was at home. And since, I began to feel my current Sunday School was not for me, and wanted to show my appreciation to my associate pastor by attending his Bible Study on Sunday Morning and his studies on Parables Wednesday night. However, our dreams began to shatter.

          A couple weeks ago, our senior pastor announced that our Associate Pastor was leaving his post as A.P and become a S.P in Hawaii. At that point, we had missed a couple of Bible Studies and a couple of Wednesday night sessions due to the fact that our new transportation provider only go to the service in the morning and she isn’t feeling well to go to Parables on Wednesday.

          We are very sad, and even heart broken.  With only 18 days left before our A.P goes, it is likely, we will see much of him except in church—but not as a teacher.

          I wish we didn’t have to be dependent. Maybe God is allowing this, but I can’t be sure. He knows how we feels.  He knows we need a ride and I am sure there aren’t any one willing to say, “Here I am, Lord! Send me.” No one wants to go out of their way, making us feel like we are tossed in the wayside.