The One my Heart Loves
Most every woman longs for and desires it and it is love. Even from birth, a baby needs it to survive (besides food, shelter, etc). I have never met anyone that didn't need love in their life, but not everyone gets it. I know from my own personal life, I have never experienced the love of my earthly father. My aunt tells me he did love me but in his own way. "In his own way"? Shouldn't a Christian parent love their children as God loves us? I ... never ... experienced ... It. Really! Yes, I am sure other children have felt the same too; these children were abused and or neglected by their fathers, even abandoned by them. They get put in foster care because their own parents don't want them (that is how they feel).
I tell you the truth that my father loved money more than me, but it wasn't his fault. He was incapable of loving his children. I also never receive affirmation from him either.
I realized this may be the reason I try and pray for the love of another man. If I couldn't get it from my father, then I wanted from someone else. It never happened and it never came. Have you ever asked yourself when something like this happened, "What is wrong with me?" I have. I wonder why after 28 years no one has wanted me, has loved me. It makes me feel ... unloved. Maybe there is something wrong with me. In school, I was teased because of my red hair. I constantly look myself in the mirror and I wish I looked better.
There is one that my heart loves and his name is Jesus, but I have never felt satisfied with his love. Kathy Troccoli sings a song called "Pour my Love on You." She sangs how she is consumed by his love for her and how she is in love with him. I so much want to feel that way, but I haven't gotten there yet. I know He loves me. There have been times when I can sense his love in my heart, but I still desire more. How can I just be content with his love, to the point I can truly say "Jesus, I don't need another's man love because I have yours?" How can I say that when I still have the strong desire to be loved by a man who loves God first than me? I have met many men online but none of them has been worthy of my love because they don't love me--- they love money. Sounds familiar? Nope, I don't need another one like my father.
Today, I listened to a song by Tenth Avenue North called Beloved. It made me realize just how much Jesus loves me. I am his beloved. When no one loves me and makes me unloved, I know that Jesus loves me.
My prayer is that I would be so satiated with his love, but nothing else matters. Maybe I will never be found by a man in my life. Maybe I will end up being single all my life. My life is in the hands of my Creator. But I can never say "No one loves me" because I know "I am my beloved and he is mine." Oh Jesus,
let me be so enraptured by your love the same way Kathy was when she wrote that song.
My friends, I know that you love me. This isn't about friendship love.
I tell you the truth that my father loved money more than me, but it wasn't his fault. He was incapable of loving his children. I also never receive affirmation from him either.
I realized this may be the reason I try and pray for the love of another man. If I couldn't get it from my father, then I wanted from someone else. It never happened and it never came. Have you ever asked yourself when something like this happened, "What is wrong with me?" I have. I wonder why after 28 years no one has wanted me, has loved me. It makes me feel ... unloved. Maybe there is something wrong with me. In school, I was teased because of my red hair. I constantly look myself in the mirror and I wish I looked better.
There is one that my heart loves and his name is Jesus, but I have never felt satisfied with his love. Kathy Troccoli sings a song called "Pour my Love on You." She sangs how she is consumed by his love for her and how she is in love with him. I so much want to feel that way, but I haven't gotten there yet. I know He loves me. There have been times when I can sense his love in my heart, but I still desire more. How can I just be content with his love, to the point I can truly say "Jesus, I don't need another's man love because I have yours?" How can I say that when I still have the strong desire to be loved by a man who loves God first than me? I have met many men online but none of them has been worthy of my love because they don't love me--- they love money. Sounds familiar? Nope, I don't need another one like my father.
Today, I listened to a song by Tenth Avenue North called Beloved. It made me realize just how much Jesus loves me. I am his beloved. When no one loves me and makes me unloved, I know that Jesus loves me.
My prayer is that I would be so satiated with his love, but nothing else matters. Maybe I will never be found by a man in my life. Maybe I will end up being single all my life. My life is in the hands of my Creator. But I can never say "No one loves me" because I know "I am my beloved and he is mine." Oh Jesus,
My friends, I know that you love me. This isn't about friendship love.
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