A Little disordered life
My father wasn't the most pleasant person to live. He was cheap, stingy, selfish and greedy, but one thing I can say about him being around, the house was kept in order. My sister lived according to what he expected because she was the one who cleaned the house. In order to make him happy (Because he saw her as nothing else), she did a good job of keeping the house clean. One other thing is I have seen that I am somewhat like him--It bugs me when the house isn't cleaned and since he died, we have lived like slobs.
It isn't that we like living in a house not clean or kept tidy. My sister has been burnt out. She felt unappreciated by all she did so when he died, so did the willingness to keep the house on an up and up. You may ask, why don't you do it, but she will not have it and say "I'll get to it!" Sometimes I have to keep asking her when she will do the wash. All our dirty clothes lie in a pile I calla mountain and all my clean clothes? In that pile. The kitchen is the same way but not as bad. No one wants to clean the kitchen and we wish it would clean itself! However, it gets clean once in awhile and my sister says "Are you happy? How do you feel?"
How do I feel? This is how I feel: I want out! I have been living with the same family for almost 45 years and I want out! I want some independence from this family! I go grocery shopping FOR THIS FAMILY and see foods I would like to buy for myself. Not going to happen because I am unemployed and depend on the little I get from my mother. Some goes to tithing, some to cat food and some for bus fare. What ever is left, I Need to promote my book and my writing. In a way, I am a starving author. I don't have my own home, my own source of income.. Everything is all dependent on the goodwill of my mother who is also very limited.
I long to be on my own and when I am, I can have things all in an orderly fashion.
It isn't that we like living in a house not clean or kept tidy. My sister has been burnt out. She felt unappreciated by all she did so when he died, so did the willingness to keep the house on an up and up. You may ask, why don't you do it, but she will not have it and say "I'll get to it!" Sometimes I have to keep asking her when she will do the wash. All our dirty clothes lie in a pile I calla mountain and all my clean clothes? In that pile. The kitchen is the same way but not as bad. No one wants to clean the kitchen and we wish it would clean itself! However, it gets clean once in awhile and my sister says "Are you happy? How do you feel?"
How do I feel? This is how I feel: I want out! I have been living with the same family for almost 45 years and I want out! I want some independence from this family! I go grocery shopping FOR THIS FAMILY and see foods I would like to buy for myself. Not going to happen because I am unemployed and depend on the little I get from my mother. Some goes to tithing, some to cat food and some for bus fare. What ever is left, I Need to promote my book and my writing. In a way, I am a starving author. I don't have my own home, my own source of income.. Everything is all dependent on the goodwill of my mother who is also very limited.
I long to be on my own and when I am, I can have things all in an orderly fashion.
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