the Life and Times of Miss Madison

It was over 17 yeas ago when I set my foot on the pavement of Washington State. God had sent me out like the spies he sent to investigate their promise land. I was like the 2 spies who came back full of faith saying, "We can do it!"  I was so full of faith and hope and I knew at last I would be free. Free of my father's house, free of my prison known as  Hanford, California! I was finally going to possess the land! However, I did not have much of a plan. I only had an Associate of Arts degree in Early Childhood Education and my only plan  was to be a teacher's aide somewhere. I figured God will lead me to that job... It did not turn out as I hope. My aunt had enough of me and told me she has called my father to come and take me home. The same one who said  that I did not give her choice as to whether I will come over or not, gave me no choice either.  I was not without hope. On August One of that year God made a promise and God always keeps his promise so I ho...

Two nights in a row. When will I break free? I am suppose to live victorious not defeated?  Last night I went to bed, ready to have a good night sleep because I didn't get one the night before.  It would be Sunday. The day when most pf my friends heads to church and hear a sermon. If I hear one, it would have to be on tv or the internet. Can't get to a good church.  I wanted to get back to my writings where I can get lost in it because  my own life could be much better  than it is now.  I can throw myself into my stories and not have a care.  It was my plan anyway, but... Why couldn't I go to sleep? I was almost there. I could feel my mind being at rest, but after my cat gave me love then left, I  was wide awake. I realized that the restlessness was back. Oh God No! I thought! I was too tired to make my legs submit to me.  I tried to take authority but my words  they come jumbled.  I  also took some Advil hoping it will work. ...

What is so hard to understand?  Why are people pressing me to go against my own conscience? I am talking about using  a taxi cab in which I have no peace.  Recently, I try to tell my friends  my situation. All I want is prayer  and not advice!  Yet when I open my mouth not one person can say the right thing like I will pray God will make a way for you."  I am putting my trust in him. IN GOD not in people not in taxi can drivers.  I never did trust them. I don't know why. I just don't. However, if God sends one to us, then it would be of him not on my own strength. My heart cries because people just don't see it! They don't just understand. How can they? The majority of them have transportation! They don't  have to  depend on a  taxi cab to take them, Can not God honor my prayer? Does he not speak to people's hearts or does he expect us to do it ourselves. "I provide you a cab, Ruthie. I have even told two of them to tell you, but yo...

 I have been battling a nervous condition of my legs called Restless Leg Syndrome. What it is is a sensation in your leg that causes your legs  wanting to move. Sometimes a relaxant like Advil  or other medicine  for it helps it to calm down, but most often in my case, I need strong intercessor. i had short victory  and now its back. I really did not feel like grocery shopping. To tell the truth, I didn't feel like doing anything. I had no energy to eat let alone shop. I asked Jesus to make sure  all the buses run in time, but maybe I should asked him which one I should take.  I had planned route 2 because it would be a  short trip to the transfer station, but the bus came  late and I ended up waiting 25r minutes for Route  6(which takes me to Walmart).  That 25 minutes seemed like an eternity to me. As I shopped, I asked God to help me remember all I needed to buy. He did. Not only that but I bought my favorite Energy drink and i...

As I was walking, I was angry. I had hoped that Californians had better sense than to vote for Romney but I come to realize that it is the media's fault for blinding them to the truth. Romney is just the same as Obama without the  label. They are both the same side of the coin. It is too bad they chose big government over freedom. When I heard that Ron Paul won in Washington State, I was so proud because I plan to move there. Now I wish I was there. Grant it that Obama or Romney wills till be president where  ever I live, the point is at least I live with the majority of republican voters who voted for a president who is not a Mormon. I was also mad that a few local candidates won. I guess people in my district would rather have someone who  isn't a known Christian.  Sigh. This state makes me sick. However as I walked, another thought came to my mind. A few years ago Romney lost to McCain and Obama got in. If Romney wins, it would seem to me that it is God's will an...

Jesus warned in the Bible that we should not  make plans for the next day because we do not know what the next day is like. We should not even put hopes in people who say, "they will" when we don't even know if they can, An example: In January, I announced that Marge was out.  A handful of well meaning friends says,  "I can order it the next month!"  February came and the same friends that says "They will, now says "I can't."  It has been out since January and already I think they have forgotten.  Another example is when another friend kept saying I will be able to see her in April. I could not in March because of her car. Now that she got a new car, I wait patiently then find out that it is not up to her but to her mom. You see on both instances I put my hopes in what they say and guess what? Nothing came about. We should not even say anything. One of my favorite sayings is "No promises." That lets the other person know  that things...

Several months ago, I wanted to do something about my life. I had hopes  and dreams and I thought why not get active.  I joined a single's group and met people older than me and hardly a man there, but I continued to go. They are wonderful people, but I have found that the main reason why they meet is to discuss the next Saturday's Agenda.  I knew I would not fit in. All of them have some sort of income. I do not. I get  some money but by the time I tithe  buy catfood and  bus fare, I also have to save up so it leaves me  with nothing. They all have cars. I do not.  Although I can easily walk there, I would need a ride during the winter hours because its dark. I never got one single ride which reminds me of the church I used to go. I may drop out all together. I missed the last meeting because I got busy.   In December, I wanted to read to children. I thought it would be a great way to connect to them, but hat fizzed out too because of roadbl...