the Life and Times of Miss Madison

 Imagine if you will walking to the bus stop then taking a  tedious bus ride to the next town. Many subs have cars and can arrive to work in less than 10 minutes (Unless they further away). It was a joy to come to work and follow the lesson plans the teachers laid out for me. It was the next best thing to teaching which is what I really wanted to do years ago. Yet the dream seemed further away as reality hit closer to home. After 3 years, I am burnt out. Always the bridesmaid, but never bride. After God closed the door for me to become a teacher's aide, I felt he wanted me to go one step higher. That meant school loans and I hated to borrow money yet I had faith I would get a job as a teacher after I graduate and pay them off. It never happened. After my last year, I was met wit disappointment. I failed my exit interview and didn't pass the writing of the teacher's test to get my credentials. I could not go into fifth year, I still had hope that I would teach but in another...

In all my life, I never thought I would become a substitute teacher. I didn't know I enrolled in a teaching class so I can gain disrespect from students, but it turned out that way. Sure. there were students who liked me as a sub, but when the teacher is away, surely the mice will play? Well, at least try to get away with it. I follow the lesson plan, and they question what I have for them. "Teacher always let us..." or  "She fives us fewer assignments..." and so forth. But I also had good days  when the students work quietly and not question the plan. Maybe familiarity bred contempt. "Oh, it's Miss Derby again." (Miss Derby is my legal last name as opposed to Miss Madison). Maybe they think they can get away with what they want because I lack power with them. Whatever the case may be, I'm coming to the end of myself. So why am I subbing? I had the education and the degree. All I needed was to finally pass the teacher's exam called CBEST(Ca...

  As a substitute teacher, I need God's grace in my life, but sometimes when He gives it, I don't see it working as I like. An instance would be if I accepted a job assignment ahead of time, thinking I would have a good night sleep and I would be ready for the day. I could never go online and cancel it if something comes up, but I could call in sick or something (which I rarely do.) On the morning of the assignment, I go ready to face a class of precocious students who would like to test me to my limits. This is when I need his grace. I want God to step in and silence the lions. However, it doesn't happen. The Bible says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. Weakness is inability or powerlessness. I felt I had no power when it comes to these students. They are like the demons that haunts me in my dreams. When God gives us the authority, it seems as there is no power with it and they render me speechless. Perhaps the demons represents little children who challenge m...

  When I was a young woman, I thought about my life. I needed to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I have lived in the city all my life (although not a big city like Los Angeles). I remember swinging on a swing at a school and it came to me that I liked children yet I didn't think teaching was in my dna. I'm not a leader. I'm a follower so I set my course to get the education I needed to become a teacher's assistant. However after I completed a 3 unit course called Child Care Aide, I learned I needed 12 ECE units. I had to go to a junior college and get my AA. One thing lead to another. To make it short, all doors to that position had closed and I had no other recourse, but to aim higher and that's when trouble began. I had returned home from trying to find a teaching aide job in Washington State. I stared out applying for admission at a couple of colleges (one a university and one a college), but problems surfaced. Fresno State University kept asking for my...

 As of September 4, I no longer have the right to use my domain. If I put it in search I would get a 403. Why is that? Because I messed with the records. I had transferred my domain over to NameCheap, and ever since that day, I could not use ruthiemadison.com. It started out with one simple goal: Start my first newsletter. I heard about MailChimp so I used that website. However, I had one issue and that is "how do I tell my subscribers to check their spam folders?" I couldn't find out how. I asked in a group and a member said I should try mailer lite or convert kit. The problem with these email platform places is they require private emails so I went to Namecheap purchase a private email, and that's when my nightmares happened. Who am I to change DNS records? I was warned, but I paid no attention and now its gone and weebly puts  a a light pink banner on my editor page saying I need to resolve an issue. What happened to my domain? I never should have listened to this ...

 God's word says that we are not to speak evil of dignitaries, so I will do my best tp speak neither good or bad about Governor Newsom. Instead I will speak the truth. I am not alone. Many of Californians are suffering from Governor Newsom's Draconian lockdown. As I said in another blog, he wanted the church to open last. It did, but he put conditions on it" No more than 100 people may attend church and not long after that, after he had released prisoners and accepted Mexicans patients into our hospitals, he locked down our churches. Schools remain closed for in person learning meaning I am still unemployed and many students will not receive the education they need? Why? Because parents has to work. Some students live with a single parents\ and he or she has to work. Small businesses aren't doing well. I wish people would wake up.  California did not elect a new governor, they elected a dictator. Once he heard that there is a petition to recall him, he strikes again. H...

 We all know the story of Adam and Eve. God told his new family to stay away from that one tree. He strictly warned them that if they didn't they could die. Up to that point, they had no problem doing what he wanted. They had a close relationship with God. I believe they saw him face to face or why had they hid themselves when they realized their nakedness. Or maybe just hearing his voice was good enough for them. Nevertheless, they had it all.  Have you been there? God blessed you with a good life. You had a great relationship with his Son. You have tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord. What more could you ask for? In most recent news, believers all over the world had been there, but somewhere along the line, they questioned their salvation. Some even walked away from God. They couldn't stand the pressure.Even after all God had done for them, it wasn't enough. God, are you really there?   I can't say I know the reason for this, but as one of my friends pointed o...