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In Defense of Kenneth Copeland (My Testimony)

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 Long ago, I used to watch Kenneth Copeland on TBN with my mother and sister. I was the last of us females who had grown spiritually and moved into the Charismatic. I had lived a worldly life as a Christian and let my one and only friend influence me to the point that I listened to music that most Christians don't approve of and enjoyed watching movies or tv shows a Christian shouldn't watched. My mother saw this and prayed for me. She prayed for the whole family and decided we all needed to change. She asked to start with her. My mother had some very influential charismatic friends who introduced her to Christian leaders of faith; Kenneth Copeland, Marilyn Hickey and Charles Capp to name a few. She went to AGLOW Meetings and my sister soon went with her but I still remained worldly. God changed all that. It was after 1995 when I moved to Washington (at least I thought I did) that I was away from all that. I had no friends and my aunt whom I stayed with pretty much wanted her t
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When My Emergency Permit Expires

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 Over three years ago, just after the death of my mother, my sister and I found ourselves in need of a job. I couldn't work when we had to take care of our mother, but now I could. However, my circumstances threw me a curve ball: how could I become a teacher without my credentials? Years of wasted education all so I could escape my father's abuse. It wasn't a total waste because without it, I would have never become a substitute teacher. I finally passed the CBEST and with a little help from a friend, I got my permit. But subbing is not a regular job. Some days they call for a half day which means half pay and some days they don't call. Subbing isn't like a teacher with credential. A credentialed teacher has one class all year long, but the students respects them more than the sub does. How anyone can love subbing is beyond me. They must have patience and the ability to maintain a class. I don't. I used to enjoy it. There used to be favorable assignments, but in
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Next Bus Stop, Please!

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 Living in poverty sometimes means you have to rely on public transportation. It would have been nice to have a car and take it whenever you need to and where-ever you need to. Buses don't always stop near or close enough to your destination. For example, I sub  in another town at any of the three schools. The one that is a walk for me is Meadow Lane. The closet stop is either the Pioneer Square stop or the Pizza Hut stop, but it takes fifteen minutes to walk to the school. On those days, I get quite a bit of exercise. Sometimes I take the flex route to a bus stop if I schedule it in advance because it s just a couple of blocks away. What really drains me is the bus ride to and fro and I believe I have wrote about that in another blog Long before my mother passed away and while my father was alive, we have found that the bus driver would stop just a block from our alley. That was a blessing as my mother wasn't getting younger, and after my father passed away, it became more of
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The Burnt Out Sub

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 Imagine if you will walking to the bus stop then taking a  tedious bus ride to the next town. Many subs have cars and can arrive to work in less than 10 minutes (Unless they further away). It was a joy to come to work and follow the lesson plans the teachers laid out for me. It was the next best thing to teaching which is what I really wanted to do years ago. Yet the dream seemed further away as reality hit closer to home. After 3 years, I am burnt out. Always the bridesmaid, but never bride. After God closed the door for me to become a teacher's aide, I felt he wanted me to go one step higher. That meant school loans and I hated to borrow money yet I had faith I would get a job as a teacher after I graduate and pay them off. It never happened. After my last year, I was met wit disappointment. I failed my exit interview and didn't pass the writing of the teacher's test to get my credentials. I could not go into fifth year, I still had hope that I would teach but in another
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My Life as a Substitute Teacher.

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In all my life, I never thought I would become a substitute teacher. I didn't know I enrolled in a teaching class so I can gain disrespect from students, but it turned out that way. Sure. there were students who liked me as a sub, but when the teacher is away, surely the mice will play? Well, at least try to get away with it. I follow the lesson plan, and they question what I have for them. "Teacher always let us..." or  "She fives us fewer assignments..." and so forth. But I also had good days  when the students work quietly and not question the plan. Maybe familiarity bred contempt. "Oh, it's Miss Derby again." (Miss Derby is my legal last name as opposed to Miss Madison). Maybe they think they can get away with what they want because I lack power with them. Whatever the case may be, I'm coming to the end of myself. So why am I subbing? I had the education and the degree. All I needed was to finally pass the teacher's exam called CBEST(Ca
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God's Grace in Time of Need.

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  As a substitute teacher, I need God's grace in my life, but sometimes when He gives it, I don't see it working as I like. An instance would be if I accepted a job assignment ahead of time, thinking I would have a good night sleep and I would be ready for the day. I could never go online and cancel it if something comes up, but I could call in sick or something (which I rarely do.) On the morning of the assignment, I go ready to face a class of precocious students who would like to test me to my limits. This is when I need his grace. I want God to step in and silence the lions. However, it doesn't happen. The Bible says that His strength is made perfect in weakness. Weakness is inability or powerlessness. I felt I had no power when it comes to these students. They are like the demons that haunts me in my dreams. When God gives us the authority, it seems as there is no power with it and they render me speechless. Perhaps the demons represents little children who challenge m
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Born to be a Rancher's Wife

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  When I was a young woman, I thought about my life. I needed to decide what I wanted to do with my life.  I have lived in the city all my life (although not a big city like Los Angeles). I remember swinging on a swing at a school and it came to me that I liked children yet I didn't think teaching was in my dna. I'm not a leader. I'm a follower so I set my course to get the education I needed to become a teacher's assistant. However after I completed a 3 unit course called Child Care Aide, I learned I needed 12 ECE units. I had to go to a junior college and get my AA. One thing lead to another. To make it short, all doors to that position had closed and I had no other recourse, but to aim higher and that's when trouble began. I had returned home from trying to find a teaching aide job in Washington State. I stared out applying for admission at a couple of colleges (one a university and one a college), but problems surfaced. Fresno State University kept asking for my
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