Living with Alzheimer

No, I don't have Alzheimer, my mother does.  Although for a long time I didn't know this. I believe the disease was there when my father was alive but the disease had lain dormant. Why? I don't know, but the disease triggered in her brain soon after his death. Just recently, my sister told me it began shortly after she stopped going to the senior nutrition center

All my life, I had this picture of healthy parents. I thought God would make sure none of my parents would  ever have Cancer or Alzheimer. I thought it would never happen to us! I'm sure many people thought that, but our (My sister and my  situation sis different. If you disagree feel free to comment below)

My sister and I have never had a chance to leave home. I think that  it is because I had a mindset that kept me hostage. My sister had her reasons. My father made her an underpaid housekeeper and I went off to  college,  and going to find work where ever I can only to end up back home. After I graduated with a B.A in liberal Studies, I  still couldn't find work. My lack of education  and certification unqualified for me to teach. I had dreams and aspirations of moving to WA state supernaturally. In other words I have believed God would move in someone  heart to  come  for me.

My father made  life hard for my sister and I. He expected me to work low income jobs so that he can get some money from me. As for my sister he believed my sister would never mount to anything because of his mindset. He had treated her like the former 8 years old with mental disorder. My father also never provided well for us too. We were practically on our own.

Before my father's bout with cancer, my mother became dependent upon my sister. She needed help up the steps,  and drying herself.  She couldn't'  cook anymore because she didn't know what to cook. Little did I know at that time, she began her bout with Alzheimer. Both my sister and I were in for an unpleasant surprise.

Both parents heavily depended on my sister during the times of weakness. In spite of his treatment of her, he made her his caregiver--a role she didn't have any choice in the matter. I heard stories where  the son or daughter had been made the choice to give care to their abusive parent. My sister is an exception. Maybe they had a chance to have a life of their own. God helped them out of that situation, but not with my sister. She lived with him until his dying day and just when she thought she  no longer had to care for her parents, we've discovered that our mom now needed our help more than ever. His death triggered the disease in her brain.  God now had different plans we had to accept: Care for your mother.

The doctor hadn't diagnosed her yet but my sister studied  the psychology of seniors, including Alzheimer and Dementia. Suddenly we  swallowed a hard pill. "Alzheimer? Dementia? Why God?" This meant we had to care for her and we still haven't have a life of our own--our life is now wrapped up in her life. Answer her questions over and over, telling her things she should know already, helping her find things. People have told us to treat her like a child but someone said "No." A child grows and learns."  Someone with the disease, can't.  They live in a world of their own. Your reality isn't theirs. For example they will say, "I play the flute." (although  they haven't  recently) You want to correct her and say "No you don't." The truth is,  she has. She is thinking of past experience as a most recent experience. You have to say, "Of course you do." They call that  agreeing with them. It doesn't do any good to argue either.

The doctor diagnosed my mother in July. We were going to get the results in August but the  neurologist postponed it until October. In the meantime we continue to live under the suspicions she has  Alzheimer and Dementia with no treatment yet. However, she is getting some help from In Home Support Service.

I want to say that regardless what anyone says, I'm going to believe for her healing. God will not give us more than we can bear. He could either take her home or heal her. My sister and I need to have a life of our own. We both have been called to fulfill his purposes for us. I have been called to teach, but in the meantime I write books, and my sister is an online college student. Caring for our mother makes it extremely difficult to do our work. I am grateful she isn't  that advanced in the disease, but when one of us goes to an activity at church, my mother whines, "I want tog o to church too."  I attend Celebrate Recovery. I invited her once, but I felt she wouldn't understand what's going on. It's not a ministry that I can be part of  for church. I'm there because I have hurts, habits and hang ups. Choir is a ministry. People are serving by singing in front of church. And this makes my mom sad. "I want to sing too. I sang in choir." I'm in a group and I  complain about this. the answer? "Sing to her."
So while I entertain my mom with songs, my heart is crying out too.