The Struggle is Real
If you were to ask me years ago, "Do you enjoy writing?" I would say yes. Mainly because I never heard of all things I've learned over the past two years. I just wrote. The word "Storytelling" shouldn't even be associated with authors. They should be called "Story show-ers." Readers despise who tell their stories because they want to feel what the character is feeling. They don't want to be told "Ed is angry." they want, "Ed's Nostril flared as he clinched his fist. I am not a story shower. I just write. Although I am learning and practicing, I still feel inadequate for such a task. Shoing is so foreign to me that I even curse readers. But wait! Am I reader too, right?
Writing as a professional is a struggle for me. I stare at the page and my mind draws a blank. Why cant people be happy with this? The story? A Second Chance at Love. I have put off Baby Blues because frankly I have no desire to finish it. The hurt members of a group caused me has left a deep scar on my confidence to write that it will take forever for the scar to heal. I haven't been in that group since it happened. I haven't posted or even commented on a post because of what one member did. The pain is real. How can I trust that people will give me the feedback I am asking for when they will address something else? And because I haven't posted, I'm more alone than I have ever been.
I'm alone. I don't know how other authors are dealing with their struggles, but I do know they are getting the help they need from other authors. I know I need to jump in the boat again, but I can't trust them not to push me back into the sea of self doubt again.
My confidence in my writing has waned. I am surrounded by unfavorable circumstances that are forever pulling at any hope of change. Jesus is coming soon and I ask myself, "Why bother?" I'm past the age of child bearing, A tumor forced me to lose any hope of having a baby and I still live in my father's house. I often wonder if I'll ever live away from all t his or is Jesus coming when I'm still here?
Many don't understand where I'm coming friends and offer me all kinds of advice and suggestions when all I need is a shoulder to cry on. The Struggle is real.
Writing as a professional is a struggle for me. I stare at the page and my mind draws a blank. Why cant people be happy with this? The story? A Second Chance at Love. I have put off Baby Blues because frankly I have no desire to finish it. The hurt members of a group caused me has left a deep scar on my confidence to write that it will take forever for the scar to heal. I haven't been in that group since it happened. I haven't posted or even commented on a post because of what one member did. The pain is real. How can I trust that people will give me the feedback I am asking for when they will address something else? And because I haven't posted, I'm more alone than I have ever been.
I'm alone. I don't know how other authors are dealing with their struggles, but I do know they are getting the help they need from other authors. I know I need to jump in the boat again, but I can't trust them not to push me back into the sea of self doubt again.
My confidence in my writing has waned. I am surrounded by unfavorable circumstances that are forever pulling at any hope of change. Jesus is coming soon and I ask myself, "Why bother?" I'm past the age of child bearing, A tumor forced me to lose any hope of having a baby and I still live in my father's house. I often wonder if I'll ever live away from all t his or is Jesus coming when I'm still here?
Many don't understand where I'm coming friends and offer me all kinds of advice and suggestions when all I need is a shoulder to cry on. The Struggle is real.
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