Love Gone Wrong

Several months ago, I accepted a friend request on Facebook. I had my misgiving but I thought if 8 of my friends accepted him, why not. For less than a month I did not send him any messages. I just treated him like all my other friends on Facebook.

In late October, I asked a question in which he commented. I really wished I had checked him out instead of leaping into unknown territory, but instead I acted on a thought: Is he the one? I could have saved myself so much heartache if I didn't acted on it. I sent him a message asking him if he had someone special in his life. I think I should have suspected something when he hesitated to answer. "No...why...?" was all I remember from that. The next thing I knew we were chatting with each other and sharing "Jesus" with each other. We both were in tuned with each other. One day, I went to his wall to post a  little message. Again a warning I did not heed. I started too, but when I remembered him telling him that his wife "emotionally abused" him, I thought she was doing that to torment him. Yes instead of seeing people commenting and seeing they were  calling them "as if they were married, I ignored  it and thought Mark must not have told them he was divorced and even wondered why. I did the right thing at first. I told mark that we could just be friends, but after sometime I began thinking that maybe he was just friends with his ex-wife. After all he did tell me he left her three times.

Mark is quite a story teller. I am not sure if much of his testimony is even true. He even started writing because I write books which I think is a wrong reason. I even told him maybe he should turn his experiences of homelessness into a book. I pretty much doubt it will even be published. He dropped writing for crocheting--not a  serious writer. He just did it to have something in common with me.

As our friendship grew, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I should have said no because he wanted to keep it a secret "Just between you me and the Lord" and "When teh Lord confirms it, we will tell" Why would anyone want to keep it a secret? I just thought maybe it was because Mark wanted to tell them in his time that he had lied about being married before he can tell them about me, but it was hard. How many times have I wanted to tag Mark in something, but couldn't? Yet I learnt o accept this and decided in my own way I can tell my friends which he seemed to be okay with.

Mark and I chatted often on his days off and I continued to wait patiently for him to come me although he kept saying "In the Lord's timing" or "When the Lord provides." However, after his new haircut, our time on Facebook decreased. Even on his days off, he only comes on about the same time he would when he comes home from work. I began to let my friends know how "unhappy" I was (which I thought was a mistake at that time, but maybe I realize now the Lord wanted me to post about it because I WAS NOT LISTENING!)

One of my friends tried to tell me and earlier a few others did too that Mark is married. Did I believe it? No? I only got frustrated and annoyed and continued to believe that he was divorced. When it didn't work, she created a group against knowledge  which caused me to block her. I was angry but even that didn't stop her!
One of my newest friends who lives with us for awhile asked for my permission to snoop out Mark's wife page and I gave it to her. She also suggested  I ask him for a copy of hod divorce certificate. (I Think I will do that for now on whenever and if I meet another man who says he is divorced.)

I sent Mark a message on Facebook telling him to meet me at Christian Social Network but Instead I left a message. I didn't  feel like chatting. I told him how I felt and that if he loved me he would send me a copy of his dc which he never did. My friend also found asked me questions tat correlated with his wife's posts like  "Did he ever say anything about going to get a haircut?" which I said "he said I got a haircut" in her status, she said we. As Virginia showed me more and more on what  was posted on his wife's wall I became enraged! It all made sense to me: the secret relationship,  why he comes online late instead of his usual time and what made me angry is all this time he was telling me what he did, he left out the part about his wife to keep leading me on! Not only that, but he took all my hopes and dreams and made into fantasy: wanting to go to Montana with me, talking about what we would do together, etc. He  tells me he eats burritos, pizza and corndogs but it sounds like on his wall his wife cooks good meals.

After all I saw on her wall, I can't believe his wife would abuse him. I think he made it up so I would for sorry for him  and I fell for it hook line and sinker. Here is something else: he lives a double life(or maybe more) He has several FB accounts and one one of them he has another wife! And Mark wanted to make me his next wife?

I don't consider myself an adulteress because I was in this relationship with my eyes closed. Yes, I saw teh signs but I refuse to believe he would lie to me.

I am so thankful fro my dearest friend for researching him and helping me to see the truth, but it would not happen if Margaret wouldn't annoy the heck out of me trying to tell all her FB friends that mark is married. Sometimes one has to shout out loud to get someone they care to do something and for that, I want to say thank you.

I am also thankful for Jesus. When those without hope have something like that happen to them, they want to die, but Jesus is my hope and my strong tower. He is my healer. I'm in Celebrate Recovery which will help me go through the steps to recover from the hurt..