Taking A Break and Why.
I have debated whether I should share this in my writing post, but it is mostly about me. Ugh. About me. Recently I had a dream which made me do some thinking: Maybe I had made it all about me and not all about God. I give him all the glory for what He has done in 2013, but the year could have been better for me. I could have sold many books instead of writing 3 books which no one wants to buy or download. I don't want a repeat performance this year and therefore I did some praying and thinking. "Who am I writing for me and why do I write?"
The hardest part in the whole year is watching other people post about how their books are doing while mine isn't doing anything. I began to question my gift as my boyfriend puts it. Or what is it doubting it? I try not to get discourage and let em get down. It's not that I think I am a terrible author, but that others thinks I am. Well, maybe not. They don't like romance or they do think I stink. (Laughs). I had a few author friends who were nice enough to tell me my first book needs help. Well, when I said it has been edited then they question my editor's professionalism. That stinks. I wasn't friends with these people when I needed someone to edit my manuscript at a price I can afford. (All of them say you can't get free good editing services.)
I wrote three books and one year and as of now, it's no big accomplishment. Why? Because they are not selling! Anyone can write a book. They can even have it self published for free. It;s the part after that. Don't think I haven't marketed my books either because I have.
Okay. Here is the point and it is also why I am taking a break. It is not that I am doing it wrong, it is because God is not interested in how many books I write or sell-- he is interested in me investing in him. You see! It has been all about me when I thought it was about him! I have been focused on myself and not on him.
People who are self centered will ask "What is in it for me?" or "What will YOU do for me?" or tell God what THEY want! I try to write for God but when I get wrapped up in what I don't see, the focus is shifted again and the enemy comes and gets me to feel discouraged. This wouldn't happen if I didn't shift focus.
So this year my resolution is simple: Be God centered. My pastor asked at church today while he was preaching, "Who is your center? Yourself or Jesus." I want it to be Jesus. My writings can wait. I don't have very many true fans dying for my next book to be out--if I did, I think I would have sold a lot of books. On my fan page, it says I have 433 fans, but most of them are just authors being nice to me. Some are friends.
So instead of writing and feeling stuck because I can't seem to add more to what I have written, I have given it all to God and laid it on the altar so to speak. I intend to use that time I would writing, I plan to spend my free time with the Lord, in worship, fellowship and studying His Word.
The hardest part in the whole year is watching other people post about how their books are doing while mine isn't doing anything. I began to question my gift as my boyfriend puts it. Or what is it doubting it? I try not to get discourage and let em get down. It's not that I think I am a terrible author, but that others thinks I am. Well, maybe not. They don't like romance or they do think I stink. (Laughs). I had a few author friends who were nice enough to tell me my first book needs help. Well, when I said it has been edited then they question my editor's professionalism. That stinks. I wasn't friends with these people when I needed someone to edit my manuscript at a price I can afford. (All of them say you can't get free good editing services.)
I wrote three books and one year and as of now, it's no big accomplishment. Why? Because they are not selling! Anyone can write a book. They can even have it self published for free. It;s the part after that. Don't think I haven't marketed my books either because I have.
Okay. Here is the point and it is also why I am taking a break. It is not that I am doing it wrong, it is because God is not interested in how many books I write or sell-- he is interested in me investing in him. You see! It has been all about me when I thought it was about him! I have been focused on myself and not on him.
People who are self centered will ask "What is in it for me?" or "What will YOU do for me?" or tell God what THEY want! I try to write for God but when I get wrapped up in what I don't see, the focus is shifted again and the enemy comes and gets me to feel discouraged. This wouldn't happen if I didn't shift focus.
So this year my resolution is simple: Be God centered. My pastor asked at church today while he was preaching, "Who is your center? Yourself or Jesus." I want it to be Jesus. My writings can wait. I don't have very many true fans dying for my next book to be out--if I did, I think I would have sold a lot of books. On my fan page, it says I have 433 fans, but most of them are just authors being nice to me. Some are friends.
So instead of writing and feeling stuck because I can't seem to add more to what I have written, I have given it all to God and laid it on the altar so to speak. I intend to use that time I would writing, I plan to spend my free time with the Lord, in worship, fellowship and studying His Word.
Comments
Post a Comment