the Life and Times of Miss Madison

Two nights in a row. When will I break free? I am suppose to live victorious not defeated?  Last night I went to bed, ready to have a good night sleep because I didn't get one the night before.  It would be Sunday. The day when most pf my friends heads to church and hear a sermon. If I hear one, it would have to be on tv or the internet. Can't get to a good church.  I wanted to get back to my writings where I can get lost in it because  my own life could be much better  than it is now.  I can throw myself into my stories and not have a care.  It was my plan anyway, but... Why couldn't I go to sleep? I was almost there. I could feel my mind being at rest, but after my cat gave me love then left, I  was wide awake. I realized that the restlessness was back. Oh God No! I thought! I was too tired to make my legs submit to me.  I tried to take authority but my words  they come jumbled.  I  also took some Advil hoping it will work. ...

What is so hard to understand?  Why are people pressing me to go against my own conscience? I am talking about using  a taxi cab in which I have no peace.  Recently, I try to tell my friends  my situation. All I want is prayer  and not advice!  Yet when I open my mouth not one person can say the right thing like I will pray God will make a way for you."  I am putting my trust in him. IN GOD not in people not in taxi can drivers.  I never did trust them. I don't know why. I just don't. However, if God sends one to us, then it would be of him not on my own strength. My heart cries because people just don't see it! They don't just understand. How can they? The majority of them have transportation! They don't  have to  depend on a  taxi cab to take them, Can not God honor my prayer? Does he not speak to people's hearts or does he expect us to do it ourselves. "I provide you a cab, Ruthie. I have even told two of them to tell you, but yo...